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It seems to be a part of modern life, as everyone I know has got a loan. This could be to consolidate debts, pay for home improvements or buy a car. Every so frequently, my husband and I have taken out a bank loan for one reason or another. We also took one out to put our daughter through university.

I hate filling in forms and the same forms come around again and again, asking the same questions. They have good jobs and could easily afford the repayments, but asking for a loan for the first time means that you have no credit history to be assessed. They have to do a credit check on us. We have plenty of history! The worst thing, when we apply for a loan, is those ten minutes or so when we are left alone in the office whilst the manager pops out to do all the checks. Ironically, we have friends who have been refused a loan because they have no credit rating. Every time we apply for a loan, we have to prove identification, even though we've been going to the same branch of our bank for years. We've never been refused but there's always a first time. It's cold sweat time as he comes back into the room. It's ok! He's smiling and we don't have to do this again, until the next time.

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I always feel like a meeting with the bank manager is like going to the Head Teacher's office. When I apply for a loan, I'm asking for money that I haven't earned. The manager is always perfectly friendly and helpful but I still feel like I'm in the dentist's waiting room. Of course, I know this is how banks make their profits and the whole banking system would collapse if it were not for people like me. Maybe, it's because of some Protestant work ethic instilled in me by my parents. I feel guilty but I don't know what I'm feeling guilty about.

It's not the actual loan that bothers me, I have accepted it as a way of life, it's the process you have to go through to get one. My generation doesn't have the patience to wait. They wouldn't think to apply for a loan. So, we have to jump through the hoops every time we want one. If they couldn't afford something, they simply saved up until they had enough money. Perhaps our parent's generation had the right idea.


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